I Met Augustine in Cambodia

The memory came to me last October, just as soon as I sat down to write the first major essay for my doctoral program. I had decided to use my essay to make a case for paying attention to one’s life—and writing about it—as a sacred art. It felt like an audacious case to make. And it felt necessary. Still does.

I realized right off the bat I’d like to reflect on the Confessions, to consider the specific ways Augustine pays attention to his life in that genre-defying masterpiece. Which got me thinking about my encounters with Augustine and his work over the years. Which took me back to an unforgettably strange conversation on a sweltering riverbank outside of Phnom Penh, late in the summer of 2006.

That’s where I met my friend Augustine for the very first time. So it’s where the piece begins.

My essay—a significantly abridged version of it—has just been published in Mockingbird, I’m grateful to say. It’s called “The Sacred Art of Paying Attention to Your Life.”

If you take the time to read it, I hope you’re encouraged. And of course I’d love to hear what it does to you, in you. At the risk of stating the obvious, this essay is an invitation. That, and a prayer.

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P.S. Undoubtedly the most personal and vulnerable thing I’ve ever published, this essay has also been—paradoxically or not—the most communal piece of writing I’ve ever done.

My writing group and program mentors offered early encouragement, as well as perceptive questions and wise edits along the way. I’m grateful to a handful of dear friends who have known me in varying capacities and stages of my life, who read early versions and offered me their perspectives on what resonated, what confounded, what was pure and utter garbage. The finished essay is better because of your generosity.

Special thanks to the Rev. Eric Dirksen, who is working on a PhD about Augustine, for unlocking some key language for me. And to James K.A. Smith, author of the wonderful book On the Road with Saint Augustine, for offering invaluable input about the structure of the piece.

Finally, thanks to Todd Brewer at Mockingbird for giving this thing a place to land.

Good friends are gifts. Thanks, one and all.